The Kingpins of Cowtown

She doesn't look a day over 200

You can take Dubya out of Texas, but you can't take ... well, you know. Mistakes happen.

Yesterday, the White House entertained Queen Elizabeth II. About 14 minutes into the arrival ceremony, Bush committed his first gaffe -- a near-implication that the Queen was about 300 years old.

"You helped our nation celebrate its bicentennial in seventeen s ... in nineteen seventy-six," Bush said. He turned and winked. The Queen shot back a glare.

Geez, give the President a break. When's the last time we cared what a Monarch thought? We fought a war to get them out of here.

He didn't actually finish the sentence. And it could have been a lot worse. He could've said:

"Queeny here doesn't look a bit over 200."

"You know, Queen, you look a lot like an older Helen Mirren."

"What's with that goofy hat?"

You see? It could have been worse. At least he didn't do like his dad, and throw up on a dignitary.

* * *

In case we do care what they think, here's what the British newspapers reported:

Daily Mail (tabloid) | Daily Express (tabloid) | Daily Telegraph (conservative broadsheet)

Guardian (left of center daily) | Independent (liberal broadsheet) | The Mirror (tabloid)

The Sun (Rupert Murdoch's sensational daily) | The Times (oldest British daily, a bit stuffy)

-- Tommy Cummings | tcummings@star-telegram.com

Airport security peep show

Four Day Weekend just sent us a very funny new improv clip riffing off the see-through scanner at aiports.

Cue the Barry White music.

A day at the improv

It's a beautiful Tuesday in Fort Worth. Supposed to  be sunny and 70. And here we all are stuck behind our desks. (Hey, at least you don't have to sit behind the supply cabinet.)

So we need a laugh. Fort Worth's favorite comedy combo Four Day Weekend is happy to oblige. These guys, who perform downtown in the theater above Reata,  have put together an impressive archive of comedy clips on star-telegram.com, riffing directly from the headlines. In their live shows, it's a tradition to invite the audience to call out a page number from the Star-T, and then David Ahearn, the emcee and ringleader, picks a headline from that page, and the improv ensues.

Two of my favorites from the past are The Sad Tale of Spongey the Cat and The Mosquito Restaurant. Check 'em out. And if you want a little more R-rated material, you can probably find it at their cool site.