The Kingpins of Cowtown

TAKS: More than just cubicle pushpins

This year's TAKS scores are, to some, discouraging. Quoth The AP:

Sixteen percent of Texas high school seniors won't graduate this spring because they failed at least one of the state's required exit-level exams, the Texas Education Agency said.

In passing, I've heard some people say these tests are too hard. So I decided to take one (here) that I found via Google. I was in an exponentially derivative mood, so I did math.

I was a good math student back in the day, but I haven't taken math in 10 years. What I learned most from working my way through the TAKS was that math is not useful in real life, unless you are an economist, an engineer, or you own a garden shaped like an equilateral triangle that measures 11 feet on each side and place a watering hose that extends from the faucet located at a vertex to the opposite side, as shown at left, and want to know the length of the hose but don't have anything with which to measure it.

My score: 59 out of 60. I missed No. 20, which asks the test-taker to "use the ruler on the Mathematics Chart to measure the dimensions" of a rectangular prism. No ruler, no measurements, wrong answer. Really, that question is more like real life than anything else on the test: a totally unreasonable expectation. (Maybe it's just me.)

-- John Metz

Samir Patel: Fantasy Spelling Bee stud!

And with the first pick in this year's Spelling Bee draft, we select .... Samir Patel! The Colleyville wunderkind, who won the regional bee today, will be headed to the big show for one last hurrah May 30-31. The National Spelling Bee will be televised on ESPN2, so why shouldn't there be a fantasy league to go along with it?

We found a 2005 mock draft. Guess who was the No. 1 pick? And if, by chance, you get into a fantasy bee league, here are a few pointers from the freaks at Pinnacle Sportsbook, who will take your money on any number of betting opportunities.

You can bet on whether the winner will be male or female. Last year, the odds were: Male -- 5/7; Female -- 5/4 (Last year, Katharine Close won on Ursprache.) You can also bet on whether the winner will be home-schooled (Samir) and whether he or she will be wearing glasses (not Samir).

The big question: Can Samir shake off the memory of last year's early exit, cratering on an easy word like eremacausis in the seventh round? Consider that while making your first-round pick. Good luck in the draft.

School daze

Surfin' on the Fort Worth Independent School District site this morning, and I found one of those Leno-esque oops headlines:

I've heard about March Madness, but Math Madness?

The reason I was on the Fort Worth ISD site was a friend told me about her brother-in-law lining up at Paschal High School at 6 a.m. this morning to get his kid into the school. And at 6 a.m. he was No. 61 in line.

"I just thought it was crazy that my hip, cool brother-in-law who used to camp out for concert tickets is camping out to get his kid in high school," Suzy wrote.

Crazy, but kinda cool. The registration doesn't even start till tomorrow, so he'll be bundled up overnight tonight. Made me want to camp out, too. I've never have done that for a concert. Unless you count the Barry Manilow World Tour in '78.