It's all part of my platform for Congress.
The bowling classic is available online. Just a word of caution: you may want to use your headphones just so your boss doesn't overhear one of the more than 240 F-bombs in TBL.
Getting you fired is not part of my platform.
I was hoping that at the last minute, a ticket to Chicago would magically appear under my pillow. But, alas, no Lebowski Fest fairy this year either. In fact, this weekend's Fest-ivities are sold out. (There's even a ticket snafu, and what-not.)
This month marks the 10th anniversary of the Coens' classic, and with some shiny new Oscars in their pockets, the celebration seems more apt than ever.
I'm still hoping to pull together a bowling party locally with a few friends, some Nihilists, a pitcher of White Russians and a toe. Call me if you've got any of those and are interested.
In the meantime, check out my odes to The Jesus and The Dude.
I've been MIA the last few days, basking in the afterglow of bowling with Jeff Bridges, The Dude from The Big Lebowski. (Actually, I was writing the story, which will appear in Saturday's Star-T. There's video, too!)
For those of you who know me, this is the Everest of my bowling with celebrities journey, which started way back in 2001 with the hippy-dippy spiritual author Deepak Chopra. Davy Jones, Sela Ward, Elisha Cuthbert, even John Turturro just a couple of weeks have all joined me on the lanes, making for some surreal moments for this one-time junior bowler.
But now that I've bowled with The Dude, it may be time to put the bowling column in mothballs. I mean, who else is there?
Sorry I can't tell you all about it yet; you wouldn't read the story if I did, now would ya? But here's a photo by the Star-T's Ron Jenkins. Stay tuned, and I'll share more details throughout the week.
-- Kingpin
Sunday was a monumental day in the life of this bowling blogger. I rolled with John Turturro, actor extraordinaire and perhaps best known among The Big Lebowski Nation as Jesus Quintana.
Can't say much about it now. My story will run in the Nov. 30 Star-T, where you can get all the details! I'll just hint that it was pretty awesome -- and he even made some news that will make Lebowski fans scream like Walter Sobchak.
So I've taken this Lebowski quiz twice that Ernie D.'s recycling, and both times I've ended up being the dude .
But I don't think it says as much about me as it does about "the dude." I told Ernie D. after taking the quiz the first time that it was ridiculous -- everyone would be the dude.
To borrow from Walter, it's all about his "ethos." And if you haven't seen the movie, go watch it now and then come back. I'm not going anywhere.
The thing about the dude -- the thing that makes him so attractive (and I use that term in the loosest sense) -- is that he's the guy the rest of us (well some of us, anyway) secretly, unreasonably wish we could be (without the pot belly and pot smoking perhaps). He may not be contributing much to society, but he's not doing it any harm. He just wants to get through the day -- the highlight of which would be a bowling match and a white russian -- without having too many bricks thrown his way.
And if you expect more of people and if that lifestyle doesn't fit well with your particular ethos, well, that's just, like, your opinion, man.
-- T-Bone out
Seattle will be ground zero for LebowskiFest this weekend. But, alas, we won't be there.
Like Walter, we don't roll on Shabbos, the 
Jewish day of rest.
But I will mix up a Caucasion and pop TBL into the DVD player and toast the faithful. You should, too.
Maybe take a Lebowski trivia quiz.
As always, The Kingpin and Albino Bowler abide.
I got ordained this morning. It only took a few minutes, but I feel like a new man.
Say hello to your friendly, neighborhood Dude-ist priest. (Confession begins at noon.)
Thanks to Joey Nose, one of the Kingpin's regular contributors, we came upon this story and this website that have transformed our lives -- at least for this morning. By tomorrow, Albino Bowler and I may shave our 
heads and join the cult of the Hairless Britneys.
But until that time, we will abide by the Church of the Latter Day Dude and the commandments of Duderonomy.
The Albino Bowler has never seemed so, well, spiritual. And proud. He insisted we include his certificate of ordination.
It was only a matter for time before The Dude took his rightful place with the heroes of our time, and was immortalized as a bobblehead. (Apparently, a Walter was unveiled this week, too, at the American International Toy Fair, but I couldn't find a photo of him.)
Remember, Kingpin fans, tomorrow is Valentine's Day and if you haven't found the perfect gift for that special bowler in your life ... hint, giant hint ... here it is for only $12.99.
What, huh, OK. ... Albino Bowler is insisting on taking the keyboard:
"As an action figure and bowler of the utmost integrity, I'm personally offended by this rendering of The Dude. He is a folk hero to all of us, so why is there no indication that he is a bowler? I just want to be on record objecting to this depiction of The Dude."
I still think it's cool. And I've got a spot picked out for it already here in the cubicle. Hint. Hint.
The Albino Bowler is growing weary of all this Super Bowl talk. He wants to get the word out about a truly important national event, Lebowski Fest '07, slated for March 9-10 in Seattle.
Last year, it was in Austin, AB's hometown.
The bowling is free, and so is the love for all things Lebowski.
For the unitiated, The Big Lebowski is the Coen Bros. quintessential movie about bowling ... and life. If you've never seen it, mix up a batch of White Russians one night soon, and rent it. Then watch it again, and again. Then you'll appreciate lines like these.
Walter Sobchak (John Goodman) to The Dude (Jeff Bridges): "You want a toe? I can get you a toe, believe me. There are ways, Dude. You don't wanna know about it, believe me. ... Hell, I can get you a toe by 3 o'clock this afternoon ... with nail polish."
For now, enjoy this photo of Nixon bowling. He wasn't all bad.
