The Kingpins of Cowtown

Fish pedicures for everyone!

I've had a mustard bath and I've heard of seaweed wraps, but the Dr. Fish pedicure (only 35 bucks) takes the cake for creative/ooky spa treatments. Watch it in action here.

A nail salon in Alexandria, Va., offers the service (did I mention, only 35 bucks!), where weary spa goers can dip their tired dogs into tanks filled with hungry carp, who are more than happy to feast on the dry and dead skin. Pretty nifty, huh. Fifteen minutes later you walk out feeling refreshed -- if a little violated.

Not sure if this'll catch on, but pet stores you've been warned.

Watermelon works wonders in the bedroom?

I watch a lot of golf on TV, which means I watch my share of erectile dysfunction ads. They're actually pretty funny -- Viva, Viagra! -- unless of course you have ED. (Sorry, Sen. Dole.)

But I doubt anyone's laughing in the offices of those wonder drug companies today. Not now that Texas A&M researchers have discovered that watermelon may have the same effect as Viagra.

Researchers admit that watermelon "may not be as organ specific as Viagra," but it also doesn't come with 537 disclaimers and side effects that will make you swear off sex entirely.

The idea of combining food with a virility boost is hardly new, however. In Egypt, they have Viagra sandwiches, and nearly every restaurant in Cairo has a Viagra dish on the menu, according to one blogger.

So, you see, watermelon has some stiff competition out there.

Jessica Simpson's gonna show us her undies

For Cowboys fans who believe in the JessiMo jinx camp, news that Simpson is starting her own lingerie line can't be good. Couple that with Tony Romo's head in a bubble on the cover of UsWeekly, sandwiched between big photos of Simpson and ex Carrie Underwood, and its enough to make you wish Drew Bledsoe would make a comeback. (I cringed when I saw that this morning at the Walgreens check-out counter.)

But if anything can guarantee four interceptions in the season opener, it's this bit of baseless gossip, which has young men everywhere locking themselves in the bathroom: Simpson, Alba to star in movie of Lingerie Bowl.

Whew! We've got our top back on now

And it's a good thing, too. Albino Bowler was using up all the sunscreen.

This blog is going topless

If you haven't noticed, we here at Kingpin headquarters are experiencing some technical difficulties. And we feel a bit naked without our cool bowling pin logo at the top of the blog, not to mention the Big Lebowski links and categories down the side. (Help, Typepad, help!!!!!)

So for the time being, we'll be blogging topless.

I hope it doesn't last long. Albino Bowler's gleaming white skin is burning my retinas.

The ultimate taste test-icle

Here in Cowtown, we're all about embracing the cowboy culture -- but we draw the line at eating testicles. Or at least I do.

In Salt Lake City, they're a little more rugged (who knew?), because that city is home to the Testicle Festival. ... Kinda has a nice ring to it. Or, might we suggest, Castration Celebration.

Now, before you get all testy, it's for charity. And we're told it's total nadness out there. Yes, it can get a little nuts at this two-day, balls-out festival, where there's ropin', ridin' and noshin' on bull bits. (Hey, I can't make this stuff up.)

The sack lunch -- their term, not ours -- goes for 5 bucks, and includes a taste of the deep-fried  "cowboy caviar," a cheeseburger and a drink. Let me guess, teabag?

If you've got a strong stomach, check out the video. And support the cause. Looks like attendance is sagging. (see Salt Lake City Tribune photo above). 

Don't lie, Don't lie, don't blame it on the other guy

I watch Wubbzy with my son, and you know how those songs get stuck in your head ....

Well, Don't Lie, Don't Lie popped into my head when I was reading this story about the Carrollton mayor, Becky "Pinky" Miller, who may not have told the whole truth about being a back-up singer for Linda Ronstadt or being engaged to Don Henley. Among other things.

Maybe Becky should watch some Wubbzy, too.

Sonny, can you spare a mill?

Mavs' owner Mark Cuban is no longer the youngest-buck billionaire on the block. Check out this 23-year-old's bankroll.

Mark Zuckerberg is the founder of FaceBook; I don't think he shaves yet, but he's got plenty 'o cabbage to buy razors because he's No. 785 on the Forbes list of billionaires.

Not that we're jealous or anything ... Once again, Albino Bowler was suspiciously absent from the list of richest bowling action figures.

One is the priciest number

File this under ... have you lost your freakin' mind!!!

Over the weekend, a vanity license plate with only the number 1 sold for $14 million at auction. (For that much, you should at least get a few exclamation points!!)

In this country, we think it's nuts to pay 3 bucks for a gallon of gas. But in the United Arab Emirates, where they're bathing in oil -- and cash -- they've gotta find some way to spend it. Saeed Khouri says he bought the plate at a charity auction "because it's the best number. I bought it because I want to be the best in the world."

Someone forgot to tell Saeed that one is also the loneliest number.

But lest we write this off as some crazy rich guy/Arab thing, here's a nutjob developer in our own country who paid $675,000 for a rare Delaware license plate with only the number 6 on it.

Dudes, people are starving and you're spending fortunes on license plates! Shame on you.

Going postal

Reading the Star-T's front page this morning I saw red:

The post office is raising the price of a stamp -- again!!!

Yes, it's only a penny, and yes, it's only 42 cents per stamp, but when the price of everything else is going up, up, up -- gas, health care, day care, groceries, you name it -- this just seems like piling on. And very bad timing.

Don't expect to get any letters from this Kingpin anytime soon.