The Kingpins of Cowtown

Freaky Five: May he rest in Pabst Blue Ribbon?

Chicago Man to be buried in beer can coffin.

Until he's on ice, the owner is using the casket as a cooler -- really!

Substitute teacher fired for practicing wizardry.

He tried, but failed, to make students disappear.

Father prosecuted for flying Jolly Roger at daughter's birthday.

What a plunder!

Boy retires Favre jersey after wearing it for four straight years.

Somebody call child services, please.

Chocolatey breath exposes candy-bar thief.

Police snickered as they cuffed him.

Freaky Five: Giving new meaning to alligator shoes

Quick, toss me the gator broom!

Woman finds 8-foot alligator in her Florida kitchen

Just turn off the mechanical bull

Church holds service in Pub Lounge

'And have you seen Elvis lately?'

Elvis' secret UK visit revealed

Willing to die for your art?

German artist wants to put dying person in exhibit

No, please, not there ... oh!

Jury rejects suit over attempted rectal exam

Freaky Five: When animals attack

It's hard out there for a hedgehog ... and a bull... and a camel:

Man accused of using hedgehog as weapon.

Tough turkeys pecking on postal workers.

Angry townspeople put destructive bull behind bars.

Gender-bending dress-up day at elementary school sparks outrage.

Crown prince pays $2.7 million for beauty-pageant winning camel.

Freaky Five: Toxic toads and flying spaghetti?

Flying Spaghetti Monster lands outside Tenn. courthouse.

Politician wants to declare open season on toxic toads.

Burglar on the lam tries to play dead at funeral home.

Hello, 911: We have a cow in our pool. (Video)

Pro tennis player smashes himself with racket.

Freaky Five: Man expecting baby ... need I say more?

Pregnant man is expecting baby in July

Chinese tortoise craves nicotine fix

Man claims Bigfoot molested him

Prosecutors decide to drop charges against 93-year-old in sex sting

Missing New York pastor found at Ohio strip club

Freaky Five: Cavalcade of cops nab stolen doughnut truck

Along the lines of man bites dog, we've got ...

Nine police officers chase down stolen doughnut truck.
The thieves were said to be glazed and confused.

Workers p.o.'d about Qwest's suggestion they use portable urinal bags.
Human resources suggests additional potty training is required.

Mom arrested after 6-year-old daughter pulls off bank job.
Her two-year-old was driving the getaway car.

Man gets stolen Mustang back -- 38 years and 300,000 miles later.
Boy are his feet tired ...

World's most expensive apartment goes for $240 million.
But that includes free cable.

Freaky Five: Olympians don't know squat about toilets in China

Laughin' all the way to the bank ... or bunk:

Man gets 30 days in jail for taco theft

Japan names cartoon cat ambassador

Olympic Loo Refit After Squat Complaints

Fleeing shoplifter forgets son

Loaded gun found in stroller

Freaky Five: Bathing with your cell phones?

Dialing 1-800-wacky, for your reading pleasure:

Nearly half of Japanese bathe with cell phones, poll shows.

Strip club patron says he was blinded by dancer's stiletto.

Distraught man to auction his entire life on eBay.

Swan breaks up with swan-shaped paddle boat.

Schoolgirl stops runaway bus; gets detention.

Freaky Five: Skeleton found cradling beer mug

Bottoms up, from six feet under ...

4,000-year-old skeleton found cradling his beer mug.

Honor student stripped of VP job for buying Skittles.

Woman sues American Airlines after passenger masturbates on her.

Corn flake shaped like Illinois gets big bids on eBay.

Millions of bees loose on California highway.